


Sara

by Clever Telling (ChildofWinter)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Background June Egbert/Terezi Pyrope, Background Relationships, Coming Out, Don't force your friends to come out before they're ready folks, F/F, F/M, Gender Dysphoria, June Egbert - Freeform, Just let people come out when they want, Maybe - Freeform, Minor Jade Harley/Rose Lalonde, Minor Jade Harley/Rose Lalonde/Kanaya Maryam, Minor Rose Lalonde/Kanaya Maryam, Multi, Rose Compulsively Psychoanalyzes Everyone, Trans Character, Trans Female Character, Trans Female Dave Strider, and let them know you're here for them no matter what, and then BE there for them, anyway everyone in homestuck is a trans woman and I'll write fic until I prove it, d-slur, gender euphoria, no matter what, or at all
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-05
Updated: 2020-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:22:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23017714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChildofWinter/pseuds/Clever%20Telling
Summary: A series of conversations between Dave and his friends as he seeks advice about his relationship problems.
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas, Jade Harley/Rose Lalonde, Jade Harley/Rose Lalonde/Kanaya Maryam, John Egbert/Terezi Pyrope, Rose Lalonde/Kanaya Maryam
Comments: 6
Kudos: 44





	1. CHAPTER 1: JUNE EGBERT

**Author's Note:**

> Formatting Homestuck text is hell.

JUNE: dave! come in! i was wondering when you would show up.  
DAVE: jesus, egbert, when did you get so thick  
DAVE: seriously, you look like like your hot mom, goddamn  
DAVE: you were my gay awakening as a kid but now you’re making me question everything again, look at you go dude  
JUNE: haha!  
JUNE: thanks dave! You always know how to make being a little bit creepy somehow endearing!  
JUNE: anyway, estradiol makes your metabolism slow down, and Jane will not stop sending me pastries to prove that baked goods are not evil, so those two things kind of added up.  
JUNE: thank you for asking!  
DAVE: thanks for answering  
DAVE: i wasn’t looking for an actual answer, but it works  
DAVE: what have you been up to? i haven’t seen you in months  
JUNE: oh you know! i spent a while at terezi’s new house and she gave me a black eye!  
DAVE: gross  
JUNE: hush!   
JUNE: this whole black rom thing is turning out to be surprisingly cathartic and refreshing.  
JUNE: i think that troll romance makes a lot more sense when you have someone around to show you the ropes, especially when that someone is as annoying as terezi!  
JUNE: and speaking of romance  
DAVE: goddamn it  
JUNE: oh come on dave, i know you! i can tell when you are stalling!   
JUNE: you sounded serious in your texts last night. What is up?  
DAVE: somehow i feel like saying “the ceiling” won’t distract you?  
JUNE: nope!   
DAVE: worth a shot i guess  
DAVE: okay, egbert here’s the truth  
DAVE: something is wrong between karkat and me.  
JUNE: :O!!!  
JUNE: so you are telling me you and karkat are actually a thing???   
JUNE: like for real?  
JUNE: youre not just living together, snuggling, making meals together, and going everywhere together, but you are actually in a relationship?  
DAVE: oh my jesus christ, yes june  
DAVE: we’re finally “A Thing”  
DAVE: have been for a while now, but we knew you all would react exactly like this if we said anything, so we kept it down low  
JUNE: oh, sorry :(   
DAVE: nah it’s okay  
DAVE: not nearly as painful to just get it over with, honestly  
DAVE: but yeah, karkat and i are together  
DAVE: and that’s fucking great  
DAVE: he fills my life with love and everything  
JUNE: and other things ;)   
DAVE: what were you saying about interrupting?  
JUNE: :x   
DAVE: you’re not far from the issue, actually  
DAVE: past couple weeks, he’s been making some moves  
DAVE: like goddamn, some moves  
DAVE: are you into boys june?  
JUNE: not the cis ones!   
JUNE: not that i know if karkat is cis.   
JUNE: or if cis even means anything for trolls.  
DAVE: regardless, you ever seen a boy pull his shirt off?  
DAVE: god fucking damn egbert  
DAVE: this motherfucker does some shit with his shoulders when he takes his shirt off  
DAVE: it’s fucking majestic junie  
DAVE: and he knows it too  
DAVE: sees me starin like im a 12 year old girl  
DAVE: drawin little hearts in my brain-notebook, you feel?  
DAVE: in my head im doing some truly despicable things to this boy  
DAVE: doing things with my tongue that would make dj khalid blush  
DAVE: not that that would be hard  
DAVE: fucking coward  
DAVE: have i mentioned how bullshit it is he won’t eat pussy june  
JUNE: stalling! :)   
DAVE: fuck okay  
DAVE: so he sees my making heart eyes  
DAVE: and rightly assumes my mind is going places  
DAVE: places its only natural for the mind of a recently-out gay man’s mind to go about his hot alien bf  
DAVE: and so he makes a move  
DAVE: gets in close  
DAVE: and for some reason i always back out last second  
DAVE: i get scared, junie, and i don’t know what scares me  
DAVE: and i don’t know, you’re my best bro, and you seem to be coming into your own right now  
DAVE: so i guess maybe i thought if i talked to you about it you might be able to help diagnose my problem  
JUNE: gee dave, it is really sweet you thought to come to me about this!   
JUNE: im here for you no matter what! i will help in whatever way i can!  
JUNE: tell me a bit more!  
DAVE: what else do you want to know?  
DAVE: dont go using this as an opportunity to hear the lurid details of my sex life  
JUNE: i dont know exactly what else!   
JUNE: i am not rose, i dont know much about your psychology!  
JUNE: maybe you should ask her?  
DAVE: no fucking way dude  
DAVE: are you kidding me?  
DAVE: she’d probably go into a whole fuckin thesis on why it’s actually my oppressed gender or whatever  
DAVE: or how it has to do with my fear of being mistreated by the men in my life or something  
DAVE: honestly it would be torture  
JUNE: yeah but she would probably be right!  
DAVE: i know  
DAVE: goddamn it, im not going to talk to her about this  
DAVE: she would take entirely too much pleasure from peeling back my scalp and looking at the wiring  
DAVE: like some kinda femme dirk workin on a davebot  
DAVE: “i think ill give him weird issues with fucking his boyfriend for no goddamn reason and then make fun of him for it”  
JUNE: wow dave!   
JUNE: that has to be your most tortured metaphor yet!  
JUNE: and that is saying something!  
DAVE: thanks, i do my best work when im desperately avoiding self-reflecting  
JUNE: you know, dave, that does bring up an interesting question!   
DAVE: what’s that junebug  
JUNE: well, i have to wonder why you came to me about this!   
JUNE: granted, you are still my best friend, and i am very glad you still trust me and want to confide in me!  
JUNE: but it seems strange that you went to me of all your friends to handle problems with your identity and relationships!  
JUNE: in fact, if i think about it, i can only come to one conclusion on the matter. There is only one thing that i know more about than people like rose and dirk!  
DAVE: actually i have to go  
DAVE: it turns out karkat just  
DAVE:  
DAVE: uh  
DAVE: haha  
DAVE: see you around good buddy  
JUNE: you can not run from this dave!   
JUNE: it will be best if you just admit it!  
DAVE: no  
DAVE: no no no  
DAVE: june for real, don’t do this  
JUNE: that is right dave >:)   
JUNE: you want me to teach you about black romance!  
DAVE:  
JUNE:   
DAVE  
JUNE:   
DAVE: what  
JUNE: yeah! You knew that i was having a fling with terezi and learning all sorts of things about how pitch relation ships work!   
JUNE: you might have picked up a thing or two from karkat on the meteor, but because of your guys’ combined repression  
JUNE: big mood, by the way  
JUNE: you never got to experience most of it first hand!  
JUNE: so now you are coming to me for lessons from the only human master of black rom!  
DAVE:  
DAVE:  
DAVE:  
DAVE: you know what june this has been fun but i gotta go  
JUNE: but dave dont go!!   
JUNE: its been so long since we hung out!!  
DAVE: ill call you  
DAVE: we can watch con air or something later  
JUNE: but i hate con air now :(   



	2. CHAPTER 2: JADE HARLEY

JADE: hey dave!! :)  
JADE: you got here quick!!! whats up bro? ;)  
DAVE: jade  
DAVE: my friend  
DAVE: my could-be lover  
DAVE: my confidant  
DAVE: my green-texted dog-eared formerly-green-sunned gardender-slash-physicist-slash-literal-goddess  
DAVE: my pal  
DAVE: i am not in the mood to beat around the bush with you right now  
DAVE: i texted you earlier but to recap  
JADE: because youre stalling :)  
DAVE: because im stalling  
DAVE: karkat and i, being in a relationship  
DAVE: and yes, we are in a relationship its a whole thing  
DAVE: but he and i, being in a relationships  
DAVE: have been having trouble in the bedroom  
DAVE: for some reason whenever he makes a move to initiate, i get scared and back out  
DAVE: im really scared of disappointing him or making him think im not attracted to him  
DAVE: but i dont know why it keeps happening and im coming to you for help  
JADE: after you went to june?  
DAVE: yeah after that  
DAVE: sorry if that implies i dont trust you as much or something  
JADE: no not at all!!  
JADE: you two are best bros!!  
JADE: i know you care about me dummy :)  
DAVE: thats fair  
DAVE: you do matter to me more than my repressed ass can adequetly articulate outside of battle rap  
DAVE: but i still feel bad about the whole ship thing  
DAVE: and ive been trying to spend more time with you as a rule  
DAVE: we all have  
DAVE: you know come to think of it i think i have a rap coming on  
DAVE: if you want to know the depth of my affections and all  
JADE: absolutely!! >:O  
JADE: but not right now!  
JADE: you came to me for advice on your bedroom troubles and mama jade is here to help!  
DAVE: dont let rose hear you calling yourself mama jade  
DAVE: youll be cleaning panties off the floor for weeks  
DAVE: he jade did you know th-  
JADE: yes dave i know rose has it bad for me she and i have been seeing each other for months!!!  
JADE: and yes kanaya knows and joins us sometimes!!  
JADE: and no im not telling you any more no matter how fun it would be to watch you two bully each other about it!! now quit stalling and get to the point!!  
DAVE: fuck  
DAVE: fine, getting to the point  
DAVE: june thinks it might be a quadrant thing  
DAVE: that he and i would be more compatible as pitch or something  
JADE: and would you?  
JADE: does that sound like something you would be interested in trying?  
JADE: i can tell you from experience that a little black dalliance can make even quadrant non-specific relationships more interesting!  
DAVE: no  
DAVE: i can safely say that’s not it  
DAVE: the arguing is fun, i do enjoy getting on his nerves  
DAVE: but when i think about having sex with him  
DAVE: its  
DAVE: its just more  
DAVE: i dont even know jade  
DAVE: it doesnt feel like the kind of sex we would be having, practically  
JADE: is it a topping or bottoming issue?  
JADE: you know trolls bulges, theyre actually-  
DAVE: yeah i know  
DAVE: i know what their bulges are like jade, jegus  
DAVE: it has nothing to do with that, i dont think  
DAVE: i have no issue bott-  
DAVE: with the role i envision for myself  
JADE: thats good to know dave ;)  
DAVE: dont flirt with me, youre fucking my sister  
JADE: fair enough :(  
DAVE: my point is  
DAVE: its like  
DAVE: have you read that book  
DAVE: the giver  
DAVE: its like that  
JADE: what do you mean dave? i dont think i understand  
DAVE: like when the main dude sees an apple  
DAVE: he love apples or whatever, i dont remember a lot of that book  
DAVE: but the point is  
DAVE: right before he gets giver’d  
DAVE: he sees an apple, but something is different about it  
DAVE: and the reader doesnt get what he means at first because the book isnt visual, we cant see what he sees  
DAVE: and it isnt until old man giver tells him about color that we get it  
JADE: are you saying you dont like his grey skin?  
DAVE: what no  
DAVE: what the fuck  
DAVE: i mean like  
DAVE: i cant describe how it is in my head because you cant be in my head  
JADE: maybe you should get terezi on the line? :P  
JADE: she could be in your head!!  
DAVE: why does the entire harleybert family keep recommending me to go see women who will bully me for something thats apparently right under my nose  
JADE: i mean, she isnt the nicest around, but she has an unsettling habit of being right about the things she says!  
JADE: plus, she or rose would both be much more qualified to help you with this than me or june!  
JADE: why did you come to us?  
DAVE:  
DAVE: i think  
DAVE: i think its because you guys dont have normal experiences with your bodies.  
JADE: :?  
DAVE: fuckin  
DAVE: youve got your whole bec thing  
DAVE: not to rub it in  
JADE: dave im a furry  
JADE: you do realize this is like a dream for me? :P  
DAVE: yeah fair  
DAVE: anyway point is  
DAVE: youve got this whole thing going on  
DAVE: and june has been transitioning for a while now  
DAVE: so i thought maybe  
DAVE: since you guys have experience with your bodies not being  
DAVE: with not being seen or touched the way you want  
DAVE: you might be able to help me out with a similar issue  
JADE:  
DAVE:  
JADE:  
DAVE:  
JADE: dave?  
JADE: are you okay?  
D*VE: yeah i just  
D*VE:  
D*VE: hey jade  
JADE: whats up?  
D*VE: before you got uh  
D*VE: fused with bec  
D*VE: or whatever you call it  
D*VE: how did you feel about me  
JADE: what do you mean?  
D*VE: well we used to be really close when we were kids  
D*VE: and you wanted to be more  
D*VE: more furry, right?  
D*VE: so your relationship with your body  
D*VE: and with your whole self  
D*VE: was different than it is now  
D*VE: right?  
JADE: yeah? i dont follow <:(  
D*VE: well how did that affect your feelings for me?  
D*VE: i mean obviously you dont just like girls  
D*VE: you obviously had it bad for me-  
JADE: yes i do.  
D*VE: what?  
JADE: im a lesbian dave. i only like girls.  
D*VE: oh  
D*VE: well my question stands  
D*VE: when you didnt have the body you wanted  
D*VE: how did that change how you saw me?  
JADE: well d*ve  
JADE: thats a very complicated answer!!!  
JADE: after all, it was so long ago, and things have changed so much!  
JADE: attraction is a complicated thing, and sometimes young gay girls like me can feel like we have to like boys in order to be normal  
JADE: and well  
JADE: the fact is that with my cool new body and everything i dont feel any need to pretend to like boys like you!  
JADE: or boys at all really!  
JADE: but the truth is, despite all that-  
JADE: oh no  
JADE: i can tell i just said the wrong thing but i dont know what it was  
JADE: d*ve are you okay??  
D*VE:  
D*VE:  
JADE: d*ve???  
D*VE: ill see you later harley  
D*VE: it was nice talking to you  
D*VE: say hi to jake for me  
D*VE: have fun with rose and kanaya  



	3. CHAPTER 3: TEREZI PYROPE

GC: H3LLO D*V3  
TG: woah what the fuck  
GC: J4D3 W4RN3D M3 YOU WOULD B3 T3XT1NG M3  
GC: 4ND S1NC3 1 H4V3 4N 1MP3CC4BL3 S3NS3 OF T1M1NG 4ND 4LSO M1ND R34D1NG POW3RS 1 D3C1D3D TO PR33MPT YOU  
TG: i dont know how i ever had the hots for you  
GC: 1TS B3C4US3 1M 4 HOT DYK3 D*V3  
TG: and how does you being gay have to do with it  
GC: YOU R34LLY 4R3 3X4CTLY 4S OBL1V1OUS 4S 3GB3RT, D*V3  
GC: 1TS B3C4US3 YOU’R3 4 G1RL  
GC:  
GC: D*V3?  
GC: SH1T


	4. CHAPTER 4: ROSE LALONDE

ROSE: Hello.  
ROSE: I would call you by your given name, but as I understand it that may no longer be appropriate.  
D*VE: fuck me running  
D*VE: who told you?  
ROSE: Kanaya, funnily enough. But she heard it from Terezi, who seems to have a habit of being right about these things.  
D*VE: well tell your wife to tell terezi to get fucked  
D*VE: I really dont appreciate having my whole fucking crisis of identity being broadcast to my friends before I can talk to them about it personally  
D*VE: does karkat know?  
ROSE: I doubt it.  
ROSE: Terezi may have a wide mouth filled with many razor sharp teeth  
D*VE: why do you only do this monster fucker shit in front of me  
ROSE: but she wouldn’t try to actually solve your problem for you.She just wanted to expedite the middle steps a little.  
ROSE: As I understand it, she grew rather annoyed with having to walk June through the baby steps of her coming out, so she skipped a few of the more granular details in your case.  
D*VE: how fucking kind of her  
D*VE: not only to presume what my problem is without actually letting me even voice it to her, but to go ahead and fill you in so you can start tearing apart my psyche from the moment I knock on your door!!!  
ROSE:  
ROSE:  
ROSE: I’m very sorry.  
ROSE: Really, I am.  
ROSE: Why don’t you come in? I’ll make you some tea.  
D*VE: fine.  
ROSE: So Dave.  
D*VE: dont call me that.  
ROSE: Okay. What should I call you?  
D*VE: hold off for now. I know you have the requisite lexiconic flexibility to work your sentences around it.  
ROSE: Alright.  
ROSE: So. What’s on your mind?  
D*VE: im not sure I want to tell you.  
D*VE: im really not in the mood for your psychoanalitic bullshit right now rose.  
ROSE: Then I promise you I won’t subject you to it.  
ROSE: You’re clearly upset, and as much as I enjoy teasing you about various aspects of your own lack of introversion-  
D*VE: real fucking slick.  
ROSE: Sorry. That’s my fault.  
ROSE: My point is that I’ll do my best to listen here. I want to be a supportive friend.  
D*VE: im so fucking glad to hear it. are you ready to listen to me now?  
ROSE: Yes.  
D*VE: good.  
D*VE: he past month or so, karkat has been making an effort to escalate things in our relationship.  
ROSE: Escalate in what way?  
D*VE: physically.  
D*VE: he keeps trying to have sex with me.  
ROSE: Do you want to have sex with him?  
D*VE: yes.  
D*VE: visibly.  
D*VE: I kind of keep encouraging him actually.  
ROSE: Okay. So far, given what you’ve told me, I don’t see a problem. Have you been having sex with him?  
D*VE: no.  
ROSE: Why not?  
D*VE: thats kind of my problem.  
D*VE: I dont know.  
D*VE: in theory, ive wanted this for a really long time.  
D*VE: since we started spending time together on the meteor, actually.  
D*VE: but every time we get to a certain point, I  
D*VE: I get scared and cut things off.  
ROSE: May I take a guess as to what you want my help with?  
D*VE: go ahead.  
ROSE: You don’t know why you keep stopping him, and you want my help figuring out why.  
ROSE: Does that sound about right?  
D*VE: I dont know if “want” is the right word.  
D*VE: its more that  
D*VE: well  
D*VE: you can kind of see through my horseshit better than anyone besides karkat.  
ROSE: So why haven’t you talked to karkat about this?  
D*VE: because I chronically ignore my issues so badly that I lose the ability to even figure out what they are, and talking to someone else who struggles with identifying their feelings isnt exactly productive when the stakes are so high.  
D*VE: but you already knew that.  
ROSE: In a way, yes.  
ROSE: You mentioned high stakes; what do you mean by that?  
D*VE: fuck, how do you make a semicolon with your voice?  
D*VE: its unsettling  
ROSE: Stalling.  
D*VE: fuck you, ive earned some stalling.  
ROSE: Fair enough.  
D*VE: but.  
D*VE: what if this is what ends the relationship?  
D*VE: what if he thinks I dont want him and im too goddamn repressed to tell him different?  
D*VE: what if my own shit holds me back so bad that I end up making him think I dont love him, and he leaves?  
D*VE: what if whatever my issue is turns out to be a deal-breaker for him and me figuring it out is what makes him leave?  
ROSE: You care about Karkat very deeply, D-  
ROSE: You care about him a lot. And he can see that.  
D*VE: nice save.  
ROSE: Thank you. I try my best to be a blundering ally in all things.  
ROSE: But I mean that.  
ROSE: I know it’s hard for you to see, but he is actually aware of how much you love him.  
ROSE: And he loves you just as much, if not more.  
ROSE: I sincerely doubt that any revelation you might come to will be a deal breaker.  
D*VE: you sound so sure.  
D*VE: how do you know?  
D*VE: besides your seer powers, I mean.  
ROSE: Take a look at this.  
D*VE:  
D*VE:  
D*VE: holy shit.  
ROSE: Yeah.  
D*VE: and thats all  
ROSE: From just since we’ve been sitting here, yes. I backread just before you came in.  
ROSE: Oh look, there’s another.  
ROSE: Would you like to read them?  
D*VE:  
D*VE: yeah.  
CG: OH GOD, OH MY GOD  
CG: FIRST TEREZI SENDS ME SOME OMINOUS SHIT AND NOW THE SECOND MOST VERBOSE STRI-LONDE WON’T TALK TO ME  
CG: FUCK FUCK FUCK  
CG: GAMZEE’S BACK ISNT HE?  
CG: HE CAME BACK AND HE’S KILLING EVERYONE AGAIN, AND YOU’RE ALL DYING HEROIC DEATHS AND I CAN’T EVEN BE THERE TO MOURN IN PERSON  
CG: ROSE PLEASE, JUST ANSWER ME  
CG: THINGS HAVE BEEN WEIRD IN THE HOUSE LATELY AND I’M SCARED I’M DOING SOMETHING TO DRIVE HIM AWAY  
CG: I ALREADY TRIED JUNE AND JADE, BUT THEY SAID THEY COULDN’T SAY ANYTHING  
CG: HE’S ASKING YOU FOR ADVICE HOW TO CUT THINGS OFF, ISNT HE?  
CG: OH GOD, HE’S LEAVING ME AND YOU’RE HELPING HIM  
CG: I CAN’T SAY I BLAME ANY OF YOU  
ROSE: I think that’s enough for now.  
ROSE: Would you like a kleenix?  
ROSE: Here you are.  
ROSE: He loves you, more than you can understand.  
ROSE: And he’s as afraid of hurting you as you are of him.  
ROSE: You’re two people who are used to being crass and brash, and you’re used to that sort of behavior driving away people you care about.  
ROSE: Or at least, you think that’s what’s happening.  
ROSE: What’s really happening is that you both enjoy your own company, and when people respect your desire for privacy you assume we’re abandoning you, and then blame that percvieved abandonment on whatever flaws you see in yourselves.  
D*VE: you’re doing it again.  
ROSE: Right, sorry.  
ROSE: My point is, you have nothing to worry about. He’s going to accept you and love you nom atter what.  
ROSE: No matter who you turn out to be.  
D*VE: I guess we had to get there at some point, huh?  
ROSE: Only if you want to. I’m only bringing it up because you seem like you might be ready. We can stop if-  
D*VE: no, you’re right. Im ready.  
ROSE:  
D*VE:  
ROSE: Would you like to start with some details?  
ROSE: How about you tell me about Karkat initiating.  
ROSE: What kinds of things are making you scared, specifically? What is he doing when the fear hits?  
D*VE: its when  
D*VE: he likes to compliment me.  
D*VE: he actually gets really sweet when-  
D*VE: when hes making a move.  
D*VE: its really sweet, honestly  
D*VE: he likes to tell me how soft my hair is, and how he likes my lips, and how hands-  
D*VE: how ha-  
ROSE: Are you having trouble?  
D*VE: B(  
ROSE: It’s okay. You can cry.  
ROSE: I think we got there, though.  
ROSE: Are his compliments often gendered like that?  
ROSE: And this kind of thing is usually what makes you tell him to stop?  
D*VE: yeah.  
ROSE: And why do you think that is?  
D*VE: b  
D*VE: be-because  
ROSE: It’s okay. I’m here for you.  
D*VE: because [hic] I’m a g-girl  
D*VE: im a-a girl.  
D*VE: rose im a girl!  
D*VE: god fucking damnit  
ROSE: What’s wrong?  
ROSE: I promise we’re all here for you. A combination of godtier magic and alchemy will help you with whatever transition you feel is necessary, and no one blames you for not realizing before now.  
D*VE: no its not that  
ROSE: Then what’s wrong?  
D*VE: it’s just  
D*VE: june is a fucking moron  



	5. EPILOGUE

GG: :O!  
EB: woah, new memo!  
EB: it has been a long time since we did one of these!  
GC: 1 S33 TH3 T1M3 H4S COM3  
CG: HEY TEREZI IF YOU SPOIL THIS FOR HER I’M GOING TO USE JUNE TO RETCON MYSELF INTO GODTIER JUST TO BEAT YOUR ASS  
GC: I’D LIKE TO SEE YOU TRY, VANTAS <3<  
GC: BUT I’LL KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT  
TT: Don’t do that on his account, Terezi.  
GA: Rose You Continue To Lose Any An All Sense Of Subtlety  
CG: EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP  
CG: YOU ALL KNOW WHO CALLED YOU HERE  
CG: SO IT’S TIME TO LET HER SPEAK  
GG: :x  
EB: :x  
GC: TH4T’S 4 STUP1D 3MOT1CON  
CG: ): **:X  
TG: hey everybody!  
TG: thanks for being here  
TG: this aint a banquet lil lady  
CG: WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT SHUTTING THE FUCK UP?  
TG: :x  
TG: you don’t need to do that, honey, but thank you.  
TG: everyone, I made this memo because I want to give you a piece of news!  
TT: You got them D cups yet dude  
TG: okay, you DO shut the fuck up.  
TG: you’re my dad, that’s fucking gross.  
TG: no, I invited you here because I finally chose my name!  
EB: yes!!!!!!!!  
TG: O shit!!!  
GT: Egads!  
TT: Fantastic!  
GG: im so proud of you!! :D!!!  
GA: I Would Love To Hear It  
GC: 1F 1T ST4RTS W1TH 4 D 1’M GO1NG TO K1LL YOU W1TH MY B4R3 H4NDS  
TG: do you guys want to hear it or not?  
TG:  
TG: thank you!  
TG: my new name  
TG: is  
TG: Karkat, give me a drumroll!  
CG: YOU’RE STALLING  
TG: fuck you  
TG: okay, fine.  
TG: my new name.  
TG: is Sara.**


End file.
